This Really is Heaven
by JL Howie
Summary: quick little kurtofsky one shot that may or may not involve a very drunk and very delusional karofsky and a very gullible and adorable kurt...


**This is a one shot and I am not elaborating. Please enjoy. I am very sleeping and I acted very drunk and inspired myself. Enjoy a drunk!karofsky kurtofky one shot.**

**~JL Howie**

Kurt had never gotten a text that disturbed him more than the one he was looking at right now. It was careless and poorly written, "hi its krofsky" like the jock didn't even have the decency to spell his own name correctly. Kurt's stomach gave a nasty roll, and he locked his phone and tucked it back into his pocket. The text had interrupted his favorite movie, 13 Going on 30, that he was watching late this Saturday evening. Kurt jumped as another text vibrated through his silk pajamas. He ignored it and tried to keep his attention on the clueless girl running around in her nightgown on his screen. Kurt was getting perturbed when the third and fourth messages jolted him again.

"ehy cum on b nic"

"tlk 2 me i em bord kurt"

"kurt kurt kurt i lyk ur name"

Kurt looked at the offending text messages and groaned inwardly. Either Karofsky was throwing some sort of sick joke (Which Kurt wouldn't put past him) or he was being drunk texted.

Kurt hurriedly typed a message to the large boy, who at that moment was stumbling in downtown Lima, trying to find somewhere to lie down and text.

"What are you babbling about? Are you intoxicated?"

Kurt fidgeted while he waited for a reply, trying to watch the movie, but failing astronomicaly.

"bably wat? i jst wnna tlk. i had sum beer but im fin."

Kurt laughed at the text. He was indeed being drunk texted by the boy who terrified him almost to death. Kurt stopped laughing abruptly. Shouldn't he be scared? Kurt waited, but the spread of fear that usually covered him when Karofsky interacted with him never came.

"Maybe you should get some coffee or something, you're not really making sense"

Kurt sent the message and snuggled deeper into his covers, trying to feel something other than the amusement the texts were giving him. He felt concern wash over him. How was Karofsky getting home? Was he going to drive? Then Kurt realized, he was worrying over a boy who hated him, why should he care?

"humml y dnt u luv me"

The small message shocked Kurt, he body tensed up and he was at a loss for words. He always thought Karofsky's advance on him was because Kurt was the only out kid at McKinley, and Karofsky was confused. He never thought that the jock… loved him. Kurt's thumbs rested on his phone but didn't move. His reply was stuck in his brain; his hands were unwilling to communicate the message. Finally he summoned the courage and sent the message.

"Why, do you love me?"

Kurt wondered how such a small question could open the possibility for so much damage. The response was almost immediate.

"i thot i didn't but ur so prty an i want to kis u. alot. i sholdnt want to kis boys but ur difrent. i lyk ned u humml."

The text's grammar made Kurt wince, but the message made him tear up, it was all becoming clear to him, Karofsky was in love with him, that's why he was so mean, he was confused. Kurt reasoned with himself. No matter how much inner turmoil someone was having, it doesn't mean they should take it out on others. Especially not those they supposedly loved.

"So why did you threaten me, Karofsky?"

Kurt again didn't have to wait long for a reply.

"i wuz scard of my dad of az of scool of evry1. but i only rly care abt u"

Kurt audibly gasped. The jock was head over heels. Kurt could barely thumb a reply because slowly his eyes were filling with tears, tears he couldn't quite explain.

"Why do you care?"

Kurt's stomach was sinking, he was reeling with all the new information and he didn't want to register the newest text that shook his leg"

"bcuz i thnk i luv u shhh dnt tel"

Kurt didn't want to believe the words, that his longtime bully had really loved him, probably the only person on this planet that had non-platonic feelings for him, including Blaine, who had shot down Kurt's advances every chance he got. Kurt's heart pounded and David's feet pounded the pavement.

Dave was jogging, trying to burn some of the alcohol out of his system, he missed the bus, and the club downtown was a long way from home. His ride, Azimio had left him stranded, drunker that Cooter Jones, on the wrong side of town, Lima Heights. Dave got the brilliant idea to text Kurt Hummel about a half hour after Azimio left. He copied the number from Kurt' facebook profile and carefully sent him the message. He wasn't really registering his messages, he was giddy, giggling like a school girl, and shouting compliments at the range of men that crossed paths with him in front of the brightly lit club entrance. The only thing he was really aware of was his need for a ride home and his inability to walk in a straight line, let alone drive a car.

The next text was played down a little more.

"can u plz pick me up. i cnt drive rn."

Kurt was intrigued. He wanted to help Karofsky, for unknown reasons, and according to the texted address, he could be there in under 30 minuted. Kurt hesitated slightly before sending a small message.

"Sure. Hold tight."

He tugged on his charcoal skinny jeans that had been draped over his arm chair, before he stuffed on a peacoat, grabbed his keys and stalked from his dorm and into the student lot.

Karofsky was momentarily blinded when a car pulled up right in front of him. That's when he thought he died because out of the car came an angel. Bright lights and angels, that's what death was, right? Right, Karofsky answered himself. He hauled himself off the pavement and stumbled over to the vehicle he assumed would take him to heaven.

He reached over the armrest and placed his face right in Kurt's.

"You're takin' me to heaven, righ'?" Kurt heard the heavy slur and Karofsky's loose grip on reality. That amused him, and he quickly pushed the older boy's face back to his side of the car. David crossed his arms and stuck his bottom lip out doing an astounding rendistion of a sad puppy. Kurt was blown away by just how adorable the boy looked. He shook his head, as if to clear the thoughts away, and he heard Karofsky mumble something he could barely hear.

"If this was really heaven I'd be able to kiss you."

Kurt pretended he didn't hear that as he started the car and pulled on the the highway heading, he hoped, in the direction of Karofsky's house. Kurt was so absorbed on the road he didn't notice Dave clumsily take out his phone and start dialing.

"Az, hi, it's Dave. You'll never guess where I am. I'm in a heaven car with Hummel going to meet God. Oh but he might not like me because I like to kiss guys. Did you know I kissed Hummel? Maybe I'll go to hell, do you think the devil will punish me more if I like Kurt?" Kurt was slack jawed. Karofsky had just drunk dialed his best, Christian friend and told him he was gay. Kurt heard yelling through the phone and then a swift disconnet. Karofsky put the phone back in his pocket then looked back up at Kurt.

"He was my only friend, he told me to go fuck myself." Kurt was lost in Karofsky's deep brown eyes, falling almost into them, he caught himself, though, and turned back to the road, cursing under his breath. Sniffling came from the seat across from Kurt within a few minutes. Kurt looked over and saw tears streaming down the older boy's cheeks.

"Are you—are you crying, Karofsky?" Kurt stuttered.

"David! If I'm dead the least you can do is call me David!" Karofsky nearly screamed, his voice cracking. Kurt's eyes wandered down the boy's face and he wondered just when Karofsky had become so appealing.

"I don't have any friends, no one likes me, I'm a dick, and the one person I care about thinks I want to kill him." Dave was sniffling and he sounded completely anguished. Kurt couldn't help but put a supporting hand on Dave's thigh.

"I was scared, Kurt, I didn't want anyone to know I was—that I'm gay. It's hard when everyone you know thinks it's wrong, and you realize you are what you were always programmed to hate. I took it hard, Kurt. Sorry."

That's when Kurt pulled into Karofsky's neighborhood; he knew it from his bus stop in 7th grade. Kurt unbuckled and turned to David.

"You're a complete jerk and I don't know why I'm about to do this, but I feel sorry for you, you're right, I grew up in a supportive home and you always got shit. I am so sorry." That's when Kurt leaned in and pecked the older boy on the lips, tasting the bitter alcohol of earlier drinks. When Kurt parted, he saw that David's eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly ajar. Kurt assessed him for a few moments before Dave moved.

"This really is heaven."


End file.
